Protecting our Marriages

I was recently saddened to hear of the pending divorces of 2 couples who have long been in the church and each couple had been married well over 20 years. In both cases the husband had commited adultry. Hearing something like that just gives me a rather sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. It also reminds me of this verse "Be sober of spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8

The devil is out there and he would like to see marriages especially christian marriages fall apart. There are many ways that he does it and we need to be proactive to prevent against it. It doesn't matter if you have passed the 7 year hard spot or the 15 year or are even almost to 30 years of marriage. The devil would still like to see it fail and we need to be on the alert against that.

Thankfully we have Someone to help us that is more powerful than the devil and He has given us armor to protect us. " Finally be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the hearvenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything to stand firm." Phil. 6:10-13 God also provided us with guidlines in the bible and common sense to help us protect our marriages.

I am very thankful that I have parents and parents-in-law that have given us a pattern of good marriages to follow. Some of the things that I have learned from them or from others in order to have a good, strong marriage is this:

• Spend time together. This seems like a given but unfortunatly it is not in this day in age. It is so easy to get so many things going that you each have your own seperate life style. If we are going to function as one flesh -we need to work together, have joint goals and be together. Something that I have started doing lately in that area is going to work one afternoon a week for my husband. He has been incredibly busy at his office and was needing to hire somebody part time and so I have been hiring my sister to watch our kids one afternoon a week and I have been going to work. It has been fun to be together with him and to learn more about his job.


• Watch out for bad situations. This is something I remember my mom talking about for a long time. Growing up my dad worked as a preacher in our church. (Now he is an ordained Elder, and so is still involved in ministry) Preacher's have many opportunities to spend time away from their families. Many Ministers leave their homes to preach on rallies, attend camps, hold bible studies and do counseling. Much of the time I see them leaving their wives at home. My Mom had witnessed early on in my parents marriage, some friends of theirs marriage fell apart because the husband counseled a woman and ended up having an affair with her. I am very thank-ful that my parents were very careful about this. If they traveled it was nearly always together and they ministered to others as a couple. This doesn't just apply to people involved in church ministry, there are situations that we all need to watch out for. I think it is wise for the wife to be flexible so that she can go with her husband when he goes somewhere.
• Be aware of your spouses physical needs. As a woman it is hard for me to understand the sexual drive that men have, however I happen to know that it is a lot higher than mine. If we want to keep our husband happy we need to keep him fulfilled in this area as well. When I got married I was giving someone else myself, my body is now his as well.
• Strive to please your husband. This should be something that we work on all the time. We should try to please him in how we look and dress and in what we do. Don't just let it all go once you have him caught.
• Pray hard! We need to spend time talking to our great God about our marriage. He has the power to protect us from the devil.

I hope you have long and happy marriages! What is your best advice for a good marriage?