Hello! I have done a horrible job of blogging the last year or so. I miss it but it seems hard to come back when I feel so "far behind" in blogging. But here comes a random post or two and maybe I'll actually post on here more often again.
The picture above is my family and I at Christmas time. It was such a blessing to be together.
The 3 foster kids that I had for 4.5 months left at the end of November. I still keep in touch with them from time to time but not often.
I have had a couple of sets of kids for quick emergency placement since. One set of kids were sick and little and we got lots of cuddling in.
My boys both got new apartments. Jonathan in St. Paul and Aaron in Duluth. Megan and I went and helped Jonathan decorate his. I wish they lived closer but am happy with the lives they are living.
I started dating a guy from Wisconsin. His name is Shawn. He loves the Lord and we have a lot of fun together. I have done a lot of studying on divorce and remarriage. I could share my study on it sometime if anyone is interested.
Megan was in Italy for 3 months as a nanny (and I got to visit her there - I will hopefully do a post about that soon). She is home again now. We have done a bit of traveling around MN since she came back. In this picture we were skating with Jonathan and my sister and family in the cities.
I still love being involved at church. The above picture shows a scene from the play that I got to help with in February.
My Sunday school class is going through the book of Revelation and we are having lots of fun with it.
We tapped maple trees at my parents again this year. It hasn't been a very good year for it however. But it is always fun to do.
We boiled down some of the sap over a fire here at our place.
This Spring has brought some good snowfalls. Here are Mara and boys out here at our place.
Ewan on the dock.
Megan, Gracie and I went to Winona, MN so Megan could check out the University there. Lord willing she will be going there this fall.
Luke and Bea are building a house on my parents property. I have enjoyed going out on quite a few Saturdays to help. Peter is pretty much always there too so I enjoy my Saturdays with my brothers. This Saturday however I stayed home to be a nurse to Megan who has chicken pox! I thought I had made it through raising children without that but I guess not. She is pretty miserable - poor girl!
This was my driveway on Wednesday. We had another gorgeous snowfall! It has been melting ever since but is not all gone yet.
I hope you all are doing well! May you have a blessed Spring!
Not very long ago my oldest, Mara, turned 25. That started me thinking about my journey as a Mother. First of all, I know that I am incredibly blessed. I don't ever remember not planning to be a Mom and God graciously allowed me to do that. It is easy to take it for granted but we shouldn't.
I also realize that I was incredibly blessed to have a wonderful role model in motherhood. My mother is one of the best. So motherhood was presented to me as something desirable and fulfilling. Nevertheless that didn't mean I didn't have struggles or challenges.
At a Rendezvous
I wanted to be a stay at home Mom so I worked up to the day that Mara was born at a florist shop but after that I stayed home with her. I loved it, but even though I was still attending Bible college (Mara went along) I still struggled a little with feeling completely fulfilled in the role of being a stay-at-home mother. But as I studied and prayed I realized not only is being a helper to my husband and raising children for God's glory quite enough on it's own but if you do have extra energy and desire there are so many ways that you can serve God and reach out to others with children in tow. Children can even help.
Jonathan when we were out in Colorado at a church camp
One piece of advice that was given to me when I was just starting out, was to lean into James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who give generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." I remember Aunt Betty (who recently went on to her reward - a wonderful woman who inspired me in so many ways) telling me that when Mara was born. I thought of that so many times through the years. Because there were many times that I lacked wisdom.
Jonathan doing a Communion talk at church recently
Motherhood has a way of drawing out all of the emotions. The love that you feel for a baby that came from your own body is just incredible. The joy that those kids can bring (and I think that just keeps better and better). They are so cute and funny when they are little but when you get to see them take their place in this world and there is a joy that is is hard to explain. I didn't think I really struggled a lot with either anger or impatience until I became a mother (after they leave the baby stage that can certainly figure out how to push your buttons!). Fear is something that comes more easily (and something I feel we need to fight against) once you become a mother. Fear that they will get hurt either physically, emotionally and most of all spiritually. And then I feel like I even became more of a fraidy cat (perhaps it is a natural preservation sort of thing so that we can take care of our young). Before children I enjoyed canoeing rapids and such like but while I had young children there was no desire to do anything like that. I will say that some of that enjoyment of danger has come back- perhaps because my kids can handle life on their own should something happen to me. :-) Anyway, they do bring out the emotions, some are good and some not so much but whatever they are I hope that we just bring those to God. I am still learning that but I hope that I am getting better at doing that. When they make you proud - thank God! When they make you angry, ask God for forgiveness and help.
Aaron and his fiancé, Harper
I don't know about you but when I became a Mom I kind of thought I had things figured out. I came from a large family with younger siblings that I helped with quite a lot, I had watched my parents who raised kids successfully (at least my siblings and I would like to think so 😊), and I had married a Christian husband and we were trying to do all the right things. Then when we had Mara and I was pregnant with Jonathan, Ken ended up walking away from the Lord. I was devastated and felt like all my plans were messed up. And then one morning I was at church and the Bible study teacher shared statistics about how many kids raised in Christian families stay faithful to God. The statistic wasn't great. Then he shared that it was even worse if just the Dad was a Christian. But if just the Mom was a Christian the statistic was even worse - it was awful. I came home totally depressed but I cried out to God in a realization that I just wasn't going to be able to raise children that loved Jesus Christ. But I knew that He loved my children (the one born and the ones yet to be born) far more than I did. And so I asked Him to work in their lives and to draw them close to Him. And I prayed that over and over again throughout the years. And He has been faithful to do that.
Aaron's current occupation
Some things that I wish I would have done differently in raising my kids:
Listened to them better and not been so distracted by the busyness of life.
Not been so intent on looking and being perfect. I remember many a time as we got ready for company getting all stressed about making our house look perfect and taking that out on my children (as in getting grumpy with them and quite impatient). There were other areas and times that I also was truly more concerned about pleasing men than God and I was focusing more on the outward appearance.
Being more compassionate. I could be a pretty strong authority figure who wanted things done right. Also I don't make the greatest nurse - so when kids were sick my hope was always that they would just want to sleep it off (not need me too often). When Mara had a long struggle with health in her teen years, I could have done a lot better at being compassionate.
Mom and I taking Megan to the airport so she could fly to Italy for 3 months
Some things that I would do again in raising my kids:
Spend time in God's word with them- reading and memorizing.
Take them to church regularly and have them spend time with others that are seeking to follow Jesus Christ.
Have them join me in ministering to the others (whether it be singing at the nursing home, taking a meal to someone, cleaning the church building, etc).
Homeschool them.
Read together a lot.
Go on adventures together and show them that they can push themselves and do hard things.
Teach them that both learning and work are fun.
Megan's college graduation this Spring (associates degree earned at the same time as her highschool diploma)
Motherhood has gone beyond just my four biological children. The first change was getting a son-in-law(Thomas). In that I have been beyond blessed. I don't think Mara could have picked any better. Before long I will get another child-in-law and I believe Aaron has done well too. I am totally excited to have Harper join our family. Both Thomas and Harper add another layer of interest in our family. They add something that we didn't have before. And it is good.
And then came grandkids. Any of you that are grandparents know how wonderful and fun that is. It adds its own challenges too. How can I be an active, helpful grandmama and still let their parents be ones that call the shots and take the responsibility. That is still a work in progress and I certainly don't always do it perfectly. But I have Grandkids who love me and I love them and their parents are pretty patient with me.
And then this Spring I added being a foster mom to the list of "Mom" roles. As I was told it would be it has been extremely wonderful, beautiful and good and it is extremely hard. I have 3 little ones (ages 7,8 and 9) who call me Mom (at least some of the time - it totally is not required but I notice that the older 2 stop calling me Mom when they are upset with me, when they are really wanting to be with their Mom or Grandma or I think when they are feeling guilty about calling me Mom- this is a complicated business).
I had no idea how much I could love children that are not "my own". I also had no idea how overwhelmed I could be by being a mother. My older kids really did not prepare me for this. I also get to try out being a public school mom and though I am going out of my comfort zone there have been many wonderful parts of this experience and challenging ones too!
An interesting thing about Foster care as I really have very little idea as to whether they will be gone next month or if I might have them for the rest of their lives. And then you wonder - will I always have a place in their lives? Does God just have us together for this moment? I guess even if they are children of our own flesh and blood we should realize that they are a temporary gift. We don't know how long we get to have them. So we should use each moment to the best of our ability.
So I try to be Jesus to them now, and I fail over and over again. But God in His grace uses me anyway. I ask for wisdom and strength and forgiveness over and over again. And He gives it, over and over and over again.
I am so thankful that I don't have to walk this road alone. God is with me every step of the way and I am so thankful for the Body of Christ who pray for me, help me and encourage me. If you are trying to do motherhood without either of those I would strongly recommend that you seek out a Bible believing and following church and seek God with your whole heart!
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22 & 23
2023 was a good year. Not one that didn't have any challenges or trials but one where we saw God at work over and over again. A year filled with God's Grace - gifts stacked one upon another. God's faithfulness showing up over and over again as we breathe each day, as we have more than enough to eat, as we get to spend time with the many beautiful people in our lives. I just get overwhelmed thinking about how good God has been to us!
Here are some highlights from 2023
In February Megan and I were able to take a quick road trip to Ankeny/DesMoines, Iowa and spend a weekend with our friends James and Jessica (as well as getting to see other friends in the area). They took us on a fun tour of DesMoines and we were blessed by our time of fellowship.
We had a lot of snow last winter which is a far different story than this winter where at this point we don't even have a complete covering of the ground. We all enjoyed the snow but Aaron definitely got the most skiing in. Last winter he even tried some back country skiing on some fun slopes around here. I had a lot of fun joining him one day and got some great exercise when we decided to cut through the woods to hike back to the car (rather than following a trail) wearing our heavy ski boots.
Our church hosted a Retreat in March and a bunch of the kids put on a play for it. I got the ball rolling to have a play but was so incredibly blessed by the many that helped out to make it successful. Mara did a great job of totally re-writing a story and making it into a very nice script, others helped with directing and props and the kids worked really hard to do a great job at acting. The Retreat over all was a blessing and a great time of fellowship.
April found our family going to Ireland to visit some missionaries there and do some exploring. It was a wonderful trip that we will long remember.
The gift of getting to see some more wonders of God's creation, to spend time together as family, to meet more of God's people clear across the ocean, to learn some history in truly fun and exciting ways was just incredible.
Jonathan filmed a documentary about the Tuttle family going to Ireland while we were there.
The gift of being the Mom in this family of mine is such a blessing. I am so grateful for each one of them and that they desire to serve Jesus Christ.
In May (I am pretty sure) Jonathan moved down to the Twin Cities to try out new things. My nephew Harrison had bought a house and is renting out bedrooms to some other boys from church. Jonathan went to be part of that household. He has enjoyed getting involved at the Woodbury Church of Christ and meeting new people down there. He went down as an assistant manager at Caribou and it looks like he is about to become a general manager. He has been getting back into doing more filming again and He and Thomas work together on a Podcast called "Salt of the Earth".
In June our family was pretty excited to welcome Ewan Peregrine Drake. He is a delightful addition to our family. After 3 or so somewhat challenging months of colic he has grown into a quite happy little boy. Mara and Thomas have their hands full with two very busy little boys but they are doing a great job with them. They are also very active in church, hosting and leading the youth group among other things. Thomas has started preaching fairly often and is part of a group that is being mentored to be elders some day. Mara raised a big garden. Malcolm is a very articulate 2 year old who keeps us laughing much of the time. Thomas was offered a job as a teacher in Cass Lake, MN this fall. He is teaching STEM to 5-7th graders.
In June Aaron left to spend much of the summer (9 weeks, I think) at Flaming Pines Camp. That is a nearly 2 hour drive away, North East of here. It is a Bible camp. Aaron was a camp councilor and that was a good learning and growing experience for him which I think ,for the most part, he enjoyed a lot. He also got pretty well acquainted with another councilor up there named Harper which has caused him to talk on the phone a lot more than he used to and take extra trips this fall.
When Aaron wasn't at camp he worked construction, as an Arborist (I think his favorite job) and now working with machines at the same place his uncle Luke works. He is happy to have a steady inside job this winter but looks forward to working with trees with Andrew (a friend from church) again this next summer. Aaron also continues to learn a lot about Car Mechanics as the older cars/trucks that he likes to get always seem to need work. I think he has learned a ton through the process so that is a blessing. We are incredibly grateful for his good friend Sam Wolkoff who has worked with Aaron on his vehicles hours upon end.
Megan also spent several weeks at camp either as a worker or a camper.
All of us except Aaron (who was up at camp) headed out to Colorado at the end of July along with other youth from church and attended the Nationwide Youth Round-up. My sisters, Martha and Anna also went and I enjoyed getting to spend time with them. We also camped with a group from Plainview, MN. We had fun spending time with friends, listening to good Bible teaching and worshipping with a couple thousand others on the mountainside.
With both my kids at camp much of the summer I thought I might get lonely but I ended up keeping my house pretty busy without them. We were pretty booked with AirBnB guests this summer and then when SuSan's (a special needs lady from church) apartment building got condemned she lived with me for a month and a half. My mother-in-law also sold her house across the road so that she could move near her youngest son and so she stayed at my house for a few weeks too and my brother-in-law was here for a week as well. I wasn't lonely and I am very grateful. There were some pretty good memories made during those times.
The kids all got to do some fun traveling this summer too. Their dad took each of them on a big trip. Megan went with him to Italy, Aaron to Alaska, Jonathan to Iceland and Mara and Ewan went with him to Maine and other states on the East coast. It is pretty fun that they were able to experience those things.
In late August my Sister-in-law, Holly went to be with Jesus after around a year of battling cancer. We grieve our loss but are so grateful that she doesn't have to be in pain any more. Peter and Holly (and their daughter Jaten) traveled all over the country working on log homes. Peter had last been working in Sisters, OR but they had gone to Boise, ID to try out a new treatment. Holly died while they were there. It was a blessing that their oldest son, Nic, and Holly's parents were able to be with them for the last couple of months. After Holly died Peter and Jaten decided that they would come back to Bemidji to be by family. My brother-in-law, Travis and I both flew out to be with them and to help Peter drive his two big rigs back. It was a blessing for me to get to spend that time with all of them.
Megan started her senior year of highschool (homeschool) and her Sophomore year of college this fall thanks to a program Minnesota has where Juniors and Seniors can go to college for free. Megan is wanting to graduate with her associates this spring so she took 17 credits this fall and has a lot for the semester coming up as well. She works really hard at her schoolwork and her grades show that. She took a public speaking class this last semester so we had a couple of parties at our house so that she could have an audience to give her speech to. For one of them we had a multi-course dinner party and asked everybody to dress elegantly. It has been some fun times. She also took a film appreciation class so we had a big film showing party as well. Good thing I like having company. It has been fun for Megan that not only did her cousin Jaten move back to Bemidji but her cousin Beatrice also moved to town. Megan has really been enjoying getting to hang out with cousins and friends.
Mid September found us as it usually does up North at Jackpine Retreat. Our whole family (except Nic who lives in California) was there.
In October my Uncle John and Aunt Donna came to visit. All of our family was able to get together to spend time with them. It can get pretty crowded and noisy when we are all together but it is pretty fun too. I thank God over and over again for Godly parents and all of my siblings, their spouses, and all the grandkids who love and serve the Lord.
Our lives were enriched this fall by this group of kids (plus a couple more that aren't pictured) that came from various countries to go to school for a semester at the University here. They went camping with us in September, many came to our place for Thanksgiving and we enjoyed other times with them as well. I would love to travel the world but really what is most interesting about the world is the beautiful people in it. I really loved getting to know these kids a little bit and learn about their countries and cultures. And if I get to travel the world more they said I am always welcome to visit.
Some others that have added beauty our lives this year....
In the fall of 2022 I started hosting monthly neighborhood potlucks. That has now been going on for over a year. I have loved getting to know my neighbors better. Of course not everyone from the neighborhood comes each month but there is a lovely group that pretty much does and then others come from time to time.
I am still working at Netzer's floral and am blessed by the fun environment with my boss and co-workers there. I also teach 20 plus music students a week, they can sometimes challenge me but they also bless me and I am so thankful for them. I was grateful for another good year of doing wedding flowers with Abbi's Bridal Design.
On Sunday evenings I lead a Ladies Bible study at a friends house in town. I love the time we get to dig into God's word together. We come from a lot of different religious backgrounds so the discussions can be really fun.
We are incredibly blessed by our church family at the Bemidji Church of Christ as well. I am so grateful that I don't have to try to do life alone or even with just my family. Having a group of believers that truly care about me and encourage me in my walk with Jesus is so wonderful. There are several women in the congregation that I meet with outside of our regular church time to study with and/or pray with and that has truly been life changing for me and my walk with Jesus.
In December we always like to go on a walk to gather greenery to decorate our home. It was perfect that it snowed that morning. It melted later but we enjoyed the snow for our walk.
Ewan has become some a happy guy. We just love him!
Christmas found all the kids here at home which was wonderful. My parents, Peter and Jaten also joined us for lunch and then on that weekend we were able to spend time with our other in town family as well.
Last night, New Year's Eve, was our traditional game night party. We had a great turn-out (we ended up with 50 people at our house) and I enjoyed having everybody here. I think most of them had a good time too. :-) God has richly blessed us. I am looking forward to seeing what He has in store for us next year.
I would love to hear about your year and areas you have seen God working.
I have felt so very blessed lately with getting to enjoy spending time with the different generations in our family lately. I thought I would share a few pictures....
On Father's Day we had a big family meal at our place and then Mom, Dad and I went out fishing. None of us had fished in sometime (and Mom wasn't truly fishing but she did help me land mine) and it was just fun to get to do that together. I also was able to take a trip to the cities with them a few weeks back and then today we went to see some friends in Fargo together (including June Blanshan who was a good friend of my Grandma and has been like another Grandma to me). I treasure getting to hear their childhood stories and just to live life with them. I am incredibly grateful to have 2 wonderful, godly parents.
This little guy has my heart. He also sometimes wears me out. I have gotten to spend the last 2 days and one night with him (including a trip to Fargo) where he enjoyed many a ride on the scooter and bike, helped me with lawn mowing, wept tears over my eating your lunch policies, outsmarted Grandmama and fed his supper to Kitchi while I wasn't looking, and kept me on my toes.
He was with me because something else pretty exciting was happening....
Mr. Ewan Perigrine Drake (I am not sure I spelled all the right - we failed to talk about that) came out to join the family yesterday. He is home tonight and he is absolutely precious. He is a wonderful addition to our family.
Ewan and Auntie Megan
I was trying to get a picture with both grandsons but Malcolm wasn't really in the mood.
Megan wasn't in the mood for standing up to take a picture either. She assure me she had some great ones from this angle. :-)
I do surely love this family of mine. I didn't even share about some fun times lately with siblings and nieces and nephews. I am pretty grateful for all of them and happy that we live close to many.
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