Thinking again on the nursing cover... I really think it is great to be able to breast feed babies. It is the healthiest thing for them and so very convenient. I also think that it is a natural thing that should be able to be done without a lot of readjustment and going off to a private place, etc. But I get a little sad when I read the blog posts/articles that I find pretty often anymore that think that it is fine if they breastfeed in public and display everything too. No covering up needed - they aren't ashamed. I am not, nor do I think we should be, ashamed of the body God gave me either but that doesn't mean that I want to show off every part. There are some areas that we keep private - that doesn't mean that we are ashamed of them it is just showing modesty and not wanting to cause anyone to stumble. It is pretty easy to nurse a baby in public and still be covered up - especially with a simple nursing cover.
Anyway - I had read something on that subject again lately and I just wanted to share my thoughts too.
As always I love to hear from you!
7 comments:
I think you're right that we should be able to nurse anywhere. However there have been a few times where either I felt uncomfortable or I made a man uncomfortable with my nursing the baby. I wasn't showing anything, but just the fact that I was nursing. Once I thought it would be okay but the man got all embarassed and said something and got up and left. I felt really bad about it. I'm not sure what the proper way to handle that was. Was I wrong in nursing with a man in the room even though I wasn't showing anything at all?
I also never felt totally comfortable nursing in church due to this reason, however, I hated going to the nursery since we don't use it and I found that the baby just wanted to stay there and play and the baby would get distracted, and the other moms in there would want to talk. All the other rooms were in use and I didn't want to use the bathroom (I find that a little gross). One church we went to had a quiet room for nursing and I really appreciated that a lot. They had a seperate nursery for those who wanted to use that for other baby needs. Did you nurse right in the church service? I would really have loved to do that. I found going in and out of the service very distracting for me as well and I never found I heard much of anything.
Anyways, I never used a nursing cover, I just used whatever I had when I was out. I usually used a receiving blanket. I also found that wearing zippered type sweaters really was great for nursing since I didn't have to take them off over my head all day, and I could use the open flaps to help cover up anything. I also really did find though that I could nurse in a way that didn't really need a lot of anything to cover myself up. I have lots of photos of me sitting at home nursing and I can't see a thing, it just looks like a baby on my lap turned towards me. But I respect that others might not want me to do that out in public since if the baby pops off without warning it might show something for a second and that is important too.
What are your thoughts on nursing at church or nursing when there are men present even though you are covered up?
I am nursing Mr. O and even though he is 8 months he has not taken to baby food so he is still nursing every 2.5 hours. This often means I need to nurse when out in public or visiting people.
I cannot imagine nursing without a nursing cover! I am not ashamed of nursing but I would never feel comfortable with everything out on display. Yes, I am feeding him but that does not give me an excuse to display myself.
As for Nola's question above - I do not nurse, even with a cover, if men are in the room (other than my husband). When we are visiting family I excuse myself to another room. Mark's father and brothers have all said that it makes them uncomfortable and I respect their wishes.
I have nursed in church - when both of my children were very young before they wiggled too much or pulled on the nursing cover or cried in nursing sessions. Now that Owen is older I take him to our church parlor where the service can be watched/heard over a tv. I think all churches should have a space like this! I agree that the nursery is just distracting for babies.
Thanks Amy for the response! Its good to hear what others do. I agree, all churches should have somewhere for nursing. Maybe if I have another baby (I hope to) I will ask about setting something up. The "parlour" area like you describe we do have that but its often filled up with teenagers who their families allow to sit back there (I wouldn't allow this myself). Or sometimes I have seen eldery sit there including men. This is the one part I really find difficult about nursing a baby- nursing at church. In the good weather I have often gone outside or to the car since I can't go anywhere else to hear the sermon away from others anyways.
Thanks to both of you for your thoughts on this! I always appreciate hearing from you.
I never used a nursing cover either because I had never heard of them. I would wear fairly long and somewhat lose shirts and I was able to nurse very discreetly that way. If needed I would add a light blanket. As babies got older sometimes they would get wiggly and then I would have to watch carefully that they didn't pull up a shirt of throw off a blanket but we always managed to keep covered up. That is where the nursing cover would be very helpful because they can't just pull it off easily.
I did regularly nurse during church. Most of the time I have lived in a place where we sat in pews which I much prefer to chairs for nursing discreetly. Most people (including the man at the pulpit) would never know that I was nursing. I considered where I would sit (trying to not be in the same pew as men other than my husband) so that they wouldn't glance over and guess what I was doing (which could be distracting to them). Many women at our church have nursed during church and it has never been an issue. I found it so much easier to keep my babies happy and not have to miss half of the sermon by nursing in church.
Sitting around visiting in mixed company can be more awkward, I think. In our family nursing was considered normal and the Moms (my mom, sisters and I) didn't make a display of it and so we just did it. I guess I would take it situation by situation. I don't remember going off to another room hardly ever. The only issue that I ever remember having was once in a while when I was nursing a man would come up to me and express interest in the baby (like possibly wanting to hold it - I can't remember for sure) and they had no idea that the baby was nursing at the time - I think they thought that they were sleeping and it could sometimes be a little bit awkward working through that situation.
If I knew that some man was uncomfortable I would avoid nursing in their presence. Those are just my thoughts on it.
Thanks Abbi! I appreciate your thoughts as well. Most of the churches we have attended when I had babies, and the one we are at now (we've had to move a few times over the years) have had chairs, and they are long so there are others in the row with us. I always liked the churches that had some chairs with a row ending against a wall, but again, our church now doesn't do that. I don't have to worry about all this now since I don't have a baby, but your article got me thinking since we would like to have another child. I'm sure I will work something out that will work as I did before! :) Its good to hear how others have worked it out!
Oh my goodness! That expression! Soooo adorable! ...A little angel.
I like your nursing cover. I found when our last baby girl, Rebecca, was born, that one yard of flannel is a perfect size for both a blanket and a cover too.
I agree with you, we need to be considerate, there are things that should be kept sacred, not that they are wrong, but it is a very personal, sacred thing. I suppose 'private' is a good word. : )
I was just reading an excerpt on amazon of a feminist writer. She and her friends decided that when they would visit the ob/gyn they would throw the covering sheet on the floor. When the nurse picks the sheet up to drape again, they were to throw it back on the floor! I suppose they were trying to make some kind of statement. I think sometimes women cut their noses off to spite their faces.
Modesty and discretion is a beautiful thing. Nursing is wonderful and the cover idea works nicely especially if sitting in an out of the way place in the room.
I wish when I was nursing, I would have felt more free, I was far too worried about the inconvenience of it, and I think it cut my nursing short unfortunately, I probably would have brought my precious babies with me to places much more often back then also, and nursed on the spot as you have written in your blog. I didn't have as much support as what seems to be out there now.
Amelia,
Thank you for your sweet comment.
I do think it is sad what the feminist movement has tried to do to women. I am happy the God made me a woman and I love it - I don't have to try to be something I am not. I can totally enjoy my role as a wife and a mother and be so thank-ful for the men (Like my husband, Dad, sons, brothers, etc) that I have in my life too as they balance the picture out. God didn't create us to be the same but rather to compliment one another. I am thank-ful for that.
I think sometimes the feminists get so caught up in trying to display their "rights" that they don't even think through whether what they are doing is even something that makes them feel good. Such as immodesty.
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