Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Loving My Marriage

Ken and I got to celebrate 19 years of marriage yesterday. I feel very blessed to have a husband who loves me, provides for our family and is a great dad.

  Our marriage hasn't been perfect (does anybody truly have a perfect marriage??) but God has been very good to us. There are some times that have been more challenging then others with one of those times being earlier this year. Ken's business was causing him quite a bit of stress earlier this year. Stress has a tendency to permeate other areas of your life as well and so he was often coming home stressed as well. That caused some stress for me and then I simply wasn't as patient as I should have been.

   Thankfully God has a way of helping us grow and He also works in many other ways as well. He has truly been working in our marriage and I am so very thankful. During the stressful time as I learned to be more who God wanted me to be there were many verses in the Bible that encouraged me as well as different articles that people had written. I don't remember all of them just now but I did want to quickly share with you some habits that I worked on making (some were developed earlier during other harder times and I continued to work on them) that were helpful during stressful times as well. I hope these thoughts/ideas for strengthening your marriage will be encouraging to you.


  • Pray for your husband. This should be a given but are you truly doing in on a daily or maybe even more often basis? I tried to pray for my husband regularly but this year I have worked to develop the habit of praying for him as I am drifting off to sleep each night. It has been a great way to end each day.
  • Work to understand your husband. At first I was frustrated about Ken being so stressed but as I worked to understand the reason why (he isn't super quick to share so sometimes you have to pull info out of him) I was able to be much more patient and empathetic.
  • Thank God often for your husband. Be specific about why you are thankful for him.
  • Follow 1 Corinthians 7:5 faithfully.
  • Make time for your husband. Play a game with him, go on a walk or canoeing. Maybe even watch a football game with him. 
  • Pamper your husband. Make his favorite meals, clean his car, etc. How can you show him that you love him?
  • Respect your husband and trust his decisions. This is something that I would like to say I am great at but honestly I struggle with this from time to time. When I do truly respect him however life goes much better.
  • Affirm him with your words.
Do you have other ideas that you would suggest for helping to build up your marriage?


4 comments:

Carmen N said...

Happy anniversary!

During our first year of marriage we attended a seminar that was based on The Five Languages of Love. It was quite helpful to learn that the things that make me feel loved aren't always the same for my husband. I love "acts of service" - when he runs errands for me or gets the oil changed in my car. One of his is communication (in our family, I'm the one less communicative) - just talking about little things in our daily lives.

Don't discount physical touch ... even the innocent kind :) We do a lot of hugs in our family. Snuggling up to him on the couch (usually the dog sits next to him or my daughter is sitting on me). Hubby loves getting his back scratched, esp now that it's winter and our skin gets drier.

Martin Meffert said...

Best wishes for you, Abbi and Ken. You are the head of a wonderful family. Go on keeping together. God may bless you. My wife and I are happily married since 1984, we have 2 wonderful children that are now adult. And of course the sun wasn`t shining on every single day in our marriage. But relying on having an ancor under the shelter of God is the most precious item we all feel inside of us. Kind regards from Germany

Amy and Mark said...

Happy Anniversary! What a joy to spend 19 years in Christian Marriage!

Abbi said...

Thank you all for your encouragement and well wishes!

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