Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Parenting with less stress {choosing to be full time Mama}

I was very blessed to grow up with a Mom that stayed home with me and my siblings, Ken was also blessed in that way. So when Mara was due to arrive I don't even remember talking about what I would do when she was born, we both just planned that I would quit my job and stay home with her.

  At the time Mara was born Ken and I were still both in Bible college and we were both working part time. I had a steady job at a florist shop that I really enjoyed and Ken was preaching at a small church (and making $50 a week!) and then he had some other jobs that weren't very dependable at that time. (He had a better job before we got married but was working an opposite shift from me and so had changed to another job that ended up not being on the up and up legally so he got out of there but then found good jobs not so easy to come by and ended up doing various temp jobs.) When you looked at the situation we were in I suppose my quiting my job wouldn't have seemed wise by some.

  For me as a mother (and a breastfeeding one) it seemed to be the right thing for us however. And you know what God really blessed and we made it through without debt. We did end up having to move when Mara was about 5 months old and then we finished the rest of our schooling (4 months worth) by correspondence but God was faithful to take care of us and I am so glad that I had that special time with Mara.

  I know staying home isn't an option for everybody. Some don't want to, some have husbands that aren't on board with them staying home and some mom's are single moms and there are many other reasons too. I respect that. I am certainly not here to judge you on your decision. However I thought it would be fun to share some of the reasons that staying at home has worked well for us and made parenting less stressful.

  • I got to breastfeed exclusively, for the health of my babies and I.
  • We are the ones responsible for our children before God and staying at home gives me the time to truly train them and teach them.
  • Not having to put my children in daycare or preschool. This is a huge issue for me as I really didn't want all the peer influence that comes from that as well as the germs.
  • I got to enjoy all of my children's "firsts" and their little cute sayings.
  • We can homeschool.
  • The flexibility of having only 1 work schedule (Ken's) to work around.
  • Not having to come home from work in the evening and still be faced with all the cooking and laundry and cleaning. I am really not sure how mothers who work outside the home do it!
  • Being able to have more family time.
  • and so much more!
I am sure I probably sound rather opinionated on this issue. I am very much so as far as I am concerned, I have very strong reasons for why we do what we do but I want you to know that if you aren't like me it is not my goal to make you feel bad however if you also would like to stay home but haven't been sure if you could make it work then I really want to encourage you. Staying home with your kids is totally worth the financial sacrifices you might have to make! It is so much fun too!

    I would love to hear your reasons for doing what you do (as long as we stay nice and civil! )....

8 comments:

Carrie said...

Agreed!

Martha Jane said...

So with you on this one. Some of my friends are amazed at all the things I do (sewing, cooking from scratch, etc.) but must all of them are working outside the home and I always feel like well I should to get a lot done I'm home all day and I don't think I could handle all my motherly and wifely duties if I had to have another job outside the home. oofta- I was rather long winded there. :)

jessicalolene said...

There are definetly things that you give up when you choose to work outside the house. I am so thankful that J and I decided for me to stay home until the boys went to school. You really miss a lot when you aren't there with them all day. I do think, though, that God blesses and comes through for those that do whatever they do inside His will, whether it is staying home or working outside the home.

AmandaL said...

I began as a single mom, so working out of the house was a necessity. When my son was 3, I met my husband, who was disable due to a back injury. Although he does recieve disability benefits, they do not cover the cost of living for a family, so I work full time as a college instructor. I'm a SAHM in the summer and for a month at Christmas for college breaks. My schedule is really flexible, and I set my own work hours, so I'm only gone for about 4-5 hours each day. I do most of the cooking, hubby helps with the cleaning, and I help with the outside stuff (gardening, mowing, etc).

Sarah Blanshan said...

When I was small, my mom (who is a teacher) took some time off, then went to being a homebound teacher for kids who had some physical problem that didn't allow them to be in a classroom all day. She would go to their house for a few hours 1-2 days a week and teach. This allowed her to contribute some income, it allowed them to have a personalized education despite their problems, and we didn't have to be apart from her very long at all. As we got older, she went back to teaching full-time.

Nola said...

I am a full time stay at home mom too. My husband and I also believe in this very strongly. My mom was at home with my brother and I and my MIL was (and still is with one) at home too. For us, its not really something we thought about doing or not doing, I always knew that when I had kids I would stay at home with them. My husband told me he had trouble finding a woman to consider dating/courting because he was looking for one that would be willing to live on one income and stay at home.

Shelley said...

Our situation is a little different. In our family, we have a stay-at-home dad. I am a nurse in the OR, so my hourly rate is more than my husbands and he is currently out of work (with a Masters Degree). We definitely knew we wanted on of us home with the kids, so it is him. I would love to be the SAHM but for now the situation is this. We will begin homeschooling in the Fall and that will be my husband's main job and I will be helping with the planning. It will be an adventure.
Shelley :)

Abbi said...

Thanks to everybody for joining in! It is insteresting to hear about everybodies different situations. Obviously everybody that weighed in on the subject on here is trying to make sure that their children have plenty of time with parents and not being raised up by a day care.

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