Saturday, December 10, 2011

Always working on my marriage!

Some conversations I have had recently made me think once again on the importance of always working on your marriage. I think it is highly dangerous to get that mind set of "We're doing great, nothing could ever happen to our marriage, I can just relax, etc." I do hope that you can say your marriage is great but what scares me is when someone gets complacent and has the idea that nothing could ever happen to destroy what you have.

 Unfortunately Satan is real, and I think he works overtime to attack marriages. When a marriage gets torn apart it is a domino effect that changes the lives of many more than just 2 people.

  Today I just wanted to encourage all of you to always work on your marriage and I thought I would share some of the ways that I have found important in my life for protecting and strengthening our marriage.

Obviously everybody is different but these are important to me:
  • Pray about it. God is the one who has all wisdom- He is there to help you make your marriage great.
  • Do things together! Obviously for most couples they will have different day jobs but as much as possible do things together. Volunteer together, have social activities together, do fun things together.
  • Try to avoid situations as much as possible that cause you to be separated for any extended period of time. Travel is what mainly comes to mind here. We will travel separately once in a while (Ken will sometimes go on business trips without me and I have gone a few times while he is busy working) but as much as possible we avoid it. When we do travel separately we try to stay connected by phone calls.
  • Physical intimacy. Not something I like to talk about but very important never-the-less. If you don't feel like it then work on your attitude. :-)
  • Try to have the same friends. If he makes friends that you don't know- try to get to know them. For instance you might invite the whole family of the friend over to get to know your whole family.
  • Always remember that you are a team- first you and your husband and then also any kids you have. Act as a team.
  • When your husband is interested in something- try to learn about it too. Work to always have things in common.
  • Set aside times that you always spend together. For instance at our house we eat breakfast and supper together as a family, Thursday nights are set aside to do things as a family and Ken and I work to always go to bed at the same time. We spend quite a lot of other time together as well but those are some "rules" that we have made of times that we need to be together.
  • Figure out ways to please him- maybe how you dress, what you cook, how you care for the house or.....You fill in the blank. Work to keep romance alive.
  How are you careful to guard your marriage? Is it something you thoughtfully work at?


Ms. Becky said...

Great topic, Abbi! I 100% agree with you that Satan is working hard to destroy Christian marriages and families.

You have a great list. One thing I'll add that we do is pray together every night before bed. It has become a valuable time to share events of the day, family issues and things on our hearts with one another. It was hard at first because there are always a zillion other "things" that need done ... but with God's strength it has become a habit that we both look forward to. On rare occasions when we have been apart at night, we've talked & prayed by phone when possible.

After my relationship with the Lord, my husband is to be next most important. I have to constantly evaluate my priorities and day-to-day time and make adjustments. Just as God wants a relationship with me, so does my husband.

A God-honoring marriage can truly be a little piece of heaven on earth.

Thanks ~ I look forward to hearing what others do!


Melissa said...

Very similar to my list of things I try to do. (I think praying daily for Tim is one of the best things I've ever done - it changes me).

I find that when I stop being intentional (I hate many of the connotations that word has in today's society but it is still a good word) things start sliding.

The more you practice the easier and sooner you will see the slide.

It is hard work and requires a person not to be selfish (which is extremely hard for us sinners) but it is so, so, so worth it.

Thanks for the encouraging post.

Anonymous said...

Your words are very very encouraging.I agree that each day we have to work on our marriage to keep it going happily.


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