Last week I challenged myself and you to come up with one thing every day (through the whole year) about your husband that you are thanking God for. Did you do that? This week was pretty easy and it went well. I hope that was true for you as well.
This week I thought I would mention something concerning marriages that I have thought about a lot and that is the need to have common interests. What I mean here is that there are ideas/principles that you both feel strongly about (Christianity, politics, etc), or things that you like to do (maybe a sport or game playing, etc) or something that you can work at together (raising children, building a house, etc).
This of course is something that is important to think about when you are finding a spouse and I am guessing some might say after reading what I wrote above "Hey, it's to late, I am already married and we have nothing in common." Well sorry - I don't think it is ever to late.
Even if you married somebody that the only reason you got married is because you thought they were super good looking (I hope that isn't the case with any of you!) and now they are overweight and don't look anything like they used or if the person you married changed dramatically (they were a Christian and left the Lord or something like that) you can still work at developing common interests.
When Ken and I got married we had quite a bit in common but of course differences too. Things have changed in various ways as we have gone along and we have had to work to make sure that we still share a lot of interests. It has been worth working on! It is something we are still working on too.
In my opinion part of a strong marriage is spending time together and to spend time together it is more fun if you can share something you both enjoy.
A while back I had the unfortunate opportunity to watch the marriage of some of my friends fall apart. While I was very saddened by it I wasn't terribly surprised as they had very little in common and they didn't seem to try to correct that. Originally they had both been faithful Christians but when he started to struggle and stopped coming to church then that no longer was a glue to hold them together either. He loved physical activity (sports, etc) and she didn't like it. She loved playing games - I never saw him doing that. He was good with money, she wasn't. I think (just my perspective looking on) that if either of them would have tried to enjoy or work at what the other one liked it could have majorly helped their marriage.
Some of the things that we have done in our marriage on purpose to make sure we can spend time together and keep a strong relationship are:
Ken got very involved politics so at my mom's encouragement I joined him. I was interested before it just seemed like I was a little to busy with kid's and stuff to go to meetings and conventions but with my mom offering to watch the kids I was able to join him in that and that has given us the opportunity for many "dates" and a lot of time together which would have otherwise just been Ken gone with the rest of us left at home and we would have been on the outside looking in. Now we often get the kids involved as well. That has truly helped our marriage to be stronger.
Ken decided we should try out down hill skiing as a fun thing for us to do together. We both learned to like it and it has been a fun way to strengthen our marriage. Biking is another way we have enjoyed bringing the whole family together.
Sure there are still going to be some areas that you don't share - I still don't care to watch sports of TV and Ken doesn't sew or do any crafts but sometimes I will come and sit by him while he watches and do a little knitting or hand sewing while I am there and Ken will come into my craft room and check on and admire whatever I am working on. Even if you don't share the interest you can at least be interested in the others interest in it.
This is something I want to work on more and I hope you will as well.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject!