Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Thinking about Femininity

Yesterday at our homemakers group the topic of Femininity came up (it wasn't part of our devotion just a topic that came up as we canned beans and made sauerkraut). That got me thinking more about being feminine and how that can affect a marriage.

  What does feminine mean? According to Webster's it means: 1. Pertaining to or characteristic of women of girls: feminine attire. 2. Having qualities or characteristics traditionally ascribed to women, as sensitivity, delicacy or prettiness.

  I think there are some general things that most people find feminine but then their are a whole range of various ideas that people have that women should do to be feminine - an opinion that I heard recently was that women should always wear skirts or dresses and they should not be made from denim or from a "masculine color". Obviously I don't agree with that one and I actually don't care for people coming up with "rules" like that unless they simply have them for themselves not to try to get everybody else to do that too.

  Being feminine is something that I much of the time really enjoy. I like wearing girly clothes, I like having long hair, I like caring for my family in the traditional feminine role. Sometimes though I find myself having very unfeminine ideas/thoughts. I like to work hard (which is well and good) but sometimes I have felt this urge to compete with men (my husband, a brother, etc.) concerning endurance or stamina or even strength. I think those thoughts are rather unfeminine. I also think that thoughts or actions like that can be harmful for a marriage.

   God made us Male and Female - he made each of us to be able to work together and he gave us special roles to play. We are a team and many times we do work at the same activity (even if it is something "male" like stacking wood or something "female" like cooking) and we can both work hard at it but when I ever get the feeling of competing with my husband (unless it is something totally in fun- and done with the right spirit) then there is a problem. Not only are we a team but also my husband is the leader of our home - God has given him to me to love and care for me - I need to appreciate and accept that.

   I believe that God has made men to desire femininity in their wives. That doesn't mean that it will be the same thing to every man (mine doesn't want me to wear skirts/dresses all the time) but I think it is important for us to be aware of what our husband does like and want and respond positively to that. For instance my husband does like me to have long hair, he like me to dress nicely, he enjoys it when I make a good meal and he admires (but doesn't have any interest in joining me in) my creative pursuits such as flower arranging, card making, sewing and such.

   Anyway, that are some thoughts that I have been having lately. I would love to hear your thoughts on femininity and possibly how it affects marriages.

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