Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Don't raise your voice ~ Marriage without fighting

    I haven't ever heard either of my parents scream at the other in anger. Nor have I heard Ken's parents raise their voices in this way. By the grace of God and through the help our Christian parents' examples Ken and I don't communicate in this way either.

   In close relationships there will be disagreements. You won't see eye to eye 100 % of the time. But fighting, much less raising our voices to do so is not necessary. Raised voices cause tension - not only in those that are actively involved in the fight but also in everybody that is around (potentially kids).  Romans 12:16 tells us to live in harmony with one another. If we want a happy marriage that is something we need to strive for.

   There was a time in my marriage when I did struggle with anger but God is full of mercy and grace and with the help of the Holy Spirit and through much prayer that isn't something that I deal with very often now.  James 1:19 & 20 is a good verse to remember on this subject: "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." I want to please God and pleasing God does not involve a life of anger.

  If you struggle with anger, with raising your voice when you are upset, some things that might help you are:
  • Pray about it. Both the situation that is making you angry and the fact that you are angry.
  • Remove yourself from the situation so you can calm down.
  • Ask others to pray for you.
  • Get rid of some of the excess in your life (too many commitments, perhaps) that might be causing you to be stressed out and having a short fuse. 
  • Remember to respect and honor the leadership of your husband - even if you do think you are "right". Present your case calmly and rationally and then accept his leadership.
  I am wishing for you and all of us a peaceful and happy marriage and home.


1 comment:

Deanna said...

Such great words. I love your suggestions for struggling with anger (or even getting greatly frustrated). Having too much going on really does make a difference in how I tend to handle things.


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