Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Sometimes I Don't Even Feel Like "Me" Anymore

 This evening as I was going through the grocery store (after going to Taco Bell for supper and then yet another trip to Menards to make some house decisions) and I was putting into my cart yet another thing that I normally don't buy I started to really feel like someone different then myself.

  I have made all sorts of names for myself:

  • Abbi the Frugal Homemaker
  • Abbi the Real Food Cook
  • Abbi the Natural Mama
And so forth and so on. I had become a person who bought almost no processed food (no crackers, no tortillas, very little bread products - you get the idea), who made her own laundry soap and used cloth pads, who bought things basically only when they were on sale and stocked up to last until the next sale, who creatively found ways to do without and substitute if I couldn't find something cheap enough, healthy enough and natural enough. And who didn't go out to eat just because I was struggling to figure out a meal.

  But I think I had made those goals an idol in my life. They are good things in an of themselves but if I have real struggles with putting paper plates, laundry soap, crackers, cake mix and full priced butter in my shopping cart because I believe that they will help our family during this super busy and somewhat stressful time in our lives - then there is a problem. 

   The thing is - my identity should never be tied up in whether I am consistently frugal or natural or anything other than what my relationship is with Jesus Christ. He is the one that provides my identity. I am a sinner saved by grace and my role is to glorify my Maker and to share the good news of Jesus Christ with others. If I can do that better right now by using paper plates some of the time and feeding my children crackers when they need a snack - then so be it. 

  Do  you ever find yourself making an idol of a certain lifestyle that you have chosen for yourself? Does it ever take up more of your attention than God does? I hope you will join me in striving to put everything else in it's proper place and always keeping God in the highest place that He deserves.


Anonymous said...

Hi Abbi, I know exactly how you feel. I am battling a health crisis and have so much fatigue. I have to be careful with the amount of energy in my "tank" each day. It's been very hard to let go of some of the frugal things I've become accustomed to doing on a regular basis. Shortcuts have become the name of the game for me. I have to remember this is (hopefully) just a season in my life.
Thank you for your insight of how a lifestyle can become an idol. I am leaning heavily on God these days and your comment has given me lots of food for thought!
Jo Ann

Martin Meffert said...

I've learnt for myself that it can be helpful in very stressful times to allow oneself to be less perfect for a while. Maybe your kids are able to take over more kinds of housework, so that you will get more relieved. If you tell your situation frankly to them they will have understanding for you. Rgds Martin

Amelia said...

I know how you feel Abbi, God has ways of teaching us little lessons to make sure we are following Him doesn't He? (Even if it's just for a little season).

He has taught me this last year through lack of energy and little pesky sicknesses to take it a bit more easy, (I didn't think I was overdoing it but I guess I was!) ...but for me I have had to limit clothes washing to one load a day in most cases. No big chores after 2pm.

I discovered when our girls were babies that wax paper, baggies, paper plates and things like that to be my "mini maids"! *big smile*. Those little things help me to keep my head many a day!

Even on a fun project like sewing... I have to literally tell myself in an old fashioned nasally homemaking teacher's voice... "Class, please put your projects up now." We all get a big kick out of it and I feel a bit less pushed. It's nice. : )

I've had to tell myself many a day, whether it be a supper or a gift, or it's wrap... "It is enough." And the funny thing about it is I'm not a perfect housekeeper or Martha Stewart type at all, but I was still overdoing myself if nothing else in my head.

What a sweet blog, this will probably ring a bell in many gal's lives. Bless you Abbi! : )

Anonymous said...

Great post....you need no other definition than Daughter of the King !!! God's continued blessings.
Lisa from Ohio

Melia said...

I have days like this when homeschooling my children. I have 7 and 2 of them have special learning needs. There are days when I get so obsessed with how my homeschooling compares to that of some of my friends. God always puts it in perspective for me though and reminds me that my friends "perfect" homeschool is so different than mine. They have 2 children or older children and no learning needs and of course it is going to look different. I had to quit beating myself up about what we were not getting done every day and rejoice in the things that we were able to master because I didn't push our day to be more school-like or more scheduled like someone else's.

magnoliasntea said...

Hi there! I wanted to thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment so I was able to find your sweet blog.
Yes, it's so easy to make an idol of things we get on the bandwagon about. I've done it and had to take a break or give it up completely. :) Have a great weekend!

Abbi said...

Thanks so much to all of you for your encouragement! It is so nice to hear from others that are also trying to do what is right and put God first.

Jo Ann, I do so understand about leaning heavily on the Lord and am praying for you as you deal with your health problems. That would be a challenge!

Martin, Thanks for your kind suggestions. I have found that when I explain things to my kids they are pretty good at helping and taking over some of my normal duties. I feel blessed to have them.

Amelia, You made me smile. So nice to hear about how you have dealt with these issues in your life.

Lisa, That is so right! We can get so caught up in what others might think of us about this or that but all that matters truly is what God thinks.

Melia, Trying to be the "perfect" homeschooler is such an easy trap to fall into - one I have faced as well. Thanks for sharing your story and may God continue to guide you as you seek what is best for YOUR family. :-)

Magnoliasntea, That is a good suggestion that sometimes we just need to fully take a break from something when we are struggling with it as an idol. That would be hard but could be better in the long run.

Renee said...

Somehow it's way too easy to mistakenly think that doing things perfectly earns us love or special favor. I love how God so patiently shows us that it's who we are that matters & that we're His precious children. Thanks for sharing this at the Homemaking link-up. I appreciate your vulnerability! Blessings!

JES said...

Ah, yes ;) I have come to peace when I realize that I could only do the best in each situation daily. If it is going to be a long week, then some extra easy food should be purchased to keep me as a gentle mother. That is most important! But to sprout every grain in my cupboard will make me a slave (and I don't need that kind of bondage right now)! We do our best with wisdom :) Thanks for sharing a struggle many of us have!

Thank you also for joining the Art of Home-Making Mondays this week :)


Blog Widget by LinkWithin